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Well Hung's Groupie Rescue



A generic platformer.

You play as the pop superstar Well Hung.

The villainous Warrior Tang has captured all of your groupies in a desperate attempt to find someone willing to date him. Armed with a yo-yo, you run and jump through a few levels of generic platforms-and-ladders, avoiding Tang's mechanical contraptions and collecting keys to open the groupies' cages.

Dead idea

This game idea is dead due to the pop-culture references, Will Hung and “She Bangs”, being a decade out of date and for the game idea being incomplete.


Technical Features

Just a basic platformer, comparable in technology to Super Mario or Commander Keen.

Gameplay Features

Input controls

  • Arrow keys: Movement.
  • Button 1: Jump
  • Button 2: Attack (Yo-yo)

Game rules

Generic platformer rules: don't touch the enemies. Some enemies can be attacked.

Game challenges

Generic pattern recognition of moving enemies.

Useful Strategies

The game idea is not formed well enough for there to be strategies. Generic platformer strategies will work.



At a coffee bar. Two young and pretty women are at the bar.

Tang slides into an empty seat and leers at the two girls who shrink away from him.

TANG: “Hello ladies! How about one of you and I… eh… never mind. I can tell when it's not going to work.”

The TV in the corner of the bar announces an upcoming show.

ANNOUNCER: “Appearing tonight at the Goat Castle, the one and only…”

Cut back to the bar where the girls have stars or hearts in their eyes.


TANG: (gives a silent W-T-F expression.)

Cut back to the TV showing a clip from one of Well Hung's previous shows. He is singing with four go-go dancers, and he points to each in turn as he sings.

WELL HUNG: “She banged me! She banged me! She banged me! She hasn't banged me yet, but she's on my agenda!”

ANNOUNCER: “The last few tickets are on sale now at the box office.”

The girls rush out to buy tickets, leaving their coffee cups spinning on the table. Tang grabs the nearest spinning cup and drinks from it.

TANG: “That singer seems to get all the chicks. You'd think he can spare one for me. Hmm, that gives me an idea.”

Scene change to the back stage after the concert. There is a long line of women waiting to enter Well Hung's room.

Suddenly an explosion blasts a hole in the wall. Tang enters through the hole, carrying a plasma rifle.

TANG: “All right, one of you ladies has to be tired of waiting around here! I will take you out on a date RIGHT NOW! You'll get dinner, flowers, and chocolate and all that stuff! So who wants to come with me? … Speak up! … First come, first served!”

The women stare at him in shock.

TANG: “Anyone? Anyone at all? … that's it! EVERYBODY into the truck! Move it!”

The scene fades out as Tang orders the women out at gunpoint.

Well Hung exits his room wearing a bathrobe.

WELL HUNG: “Who gets the bang next? … Huh?”

The camera pulls back to show Well Hung in an empty hallway.

WELL HUNG: “What happened to all of the women who were here? I didn't get unpopular that fast, did I?”

ROADIE: “All of your groupies were kidnapped by Warrior Tang! He is holding them hostage until one of them agrees to go out with him!”

WELL HUNG: “Oh no! I must save my fans from the horrible fate of having to go out with Warrior Tang!”

Between levels

Between levels, there are cut-scenes with harrowing music and text describing the urgent need to hurry up and save the women from the threat, while the cut-scene shows bored-looking prisoners quietly ignoring Tang's attempts to offer them flowers, Tang sobbing into his sleeve, and etc.

Ending scene

After defeating Tang, Well introduces him to his sister, the one woman on Earth who is not awestruck by Well's celebrity. And… “She bangs! She bangs!”

Them we see a message that it doesn't work out because Tang is such a jerk.

Game World

Major Locations

Most levels take place in a factory or warehouse setting.

Each level has a few girls in cages scattered around the level. Well must find the keys to open the cages. Each level ends when all of the girls have been rescued.


Player Character

Well Hung is a singer of East Asian descent based on the real-life person of Will Hung.

He might wear a '70s-style leisure suit.

He has a fairly useless / comedic weapon like a yo-yo. The yo-yo can flip switches.

He does a short dance whenever he rescues a girl.

Minor Enemies

Most enemies will be moving sawblades, etc.

Other enemies may include:

  • robots of some sort
  • wild dogs

There will need to be some enemies that the yo-yo will work on.

Main Enemies

Warrior Tang is my TJAB character with the same powers.

  • Short-range fire magic – The yo-yo simply isn't going to work.
  • Long-range plasma rifle – An instant kill if it hits you. You'll have to jump over it.

Other powers may be added if they contribute to gameplay

As a means to defeat him, there may be automated cranes moving boxes on each side of the screen. Use the controls to have the crane drop a box on Tang.


  • Keys - open cages.
  • Colored keys - open colored doors.
  • Switches - Open and close doors, move platforms, reverse conveyors, etc.

Game Deliverables






{“TOPICINFO”:{“author”:“DeltaTango”,”date”:“1373348497”,”format”:“1.1”,”version”:“1.2”},”TOPICPARENT”:{“name”:“WebHome”},”GameAboutFormTemplate”:{“GameGenre”:“Arcade”,”Inspirations”:“Donkey Kong Jr., Super Mario Brothers, Commander Keen”,”GamePerspective”:“2-d Side View”,”ProjectLegality”:“StrictParody”,”ProjectDifficulty”:“Doable”,”TargetPlatform”:“SWF”,”TargetERSB”:“T”,”YearOfIdea”:“2004”,”DesignVersion”:false,”DesignCompletion”:“Minimal Ideas”,”CodeVersion”:false,”CodeCompletion”:“No code”}}

groupierescue.txt · Last modified: 2013/11/29 18:15 (external edit)